Facebook Reveal & Family Support

Today is a big day in Facebook world LOL. I had many questions coming in and although my close friends have known from the day I started thinking about it, there are many others that didn't

Facebook post:

The BIG REVEAL!

I have many questions and congrats coming in and I wanted to say Thank You!!

I also wanted to let everyone know I am a surrogate, and am 19 weeks with twin girls. Yes again!

This is something I’ve wanted to do for a while and am very happy with my decision. I’m helping a loving family grow X2. The joy my daughters bring me on a daily basis is something indescribable. I cry tears of joy daily, thankful to be their mother. Simple moments like silly faces, good night kisses, morning farts, and holding little hands are very dear to my heart and I hope everyone gets a chance to enjoy these experiences. I’ve decided to help an amazing family experience these many joys and it’s been an amazing experience. If you’re interested in knowing more I do have a blog: fiestymomma.blogspot.com.

XOXO Jenn

Today was also my Corporate Reveal: I have been wearing large blouses at work to be inconspicuous and today is the day that went out the window. Mainly because i hadn't really went maternity shopping get and large blouses is all that would fit appropriately :) A handful of my closest coworkers have known, but not many. I notified the teams I support approximately 2 weeks ago and everyone was shocked but supportive. To me how this played out in the office is important. I have a specialized role and support a large team therefore I wanted those i work directly with to know my future plans as it will directly effect them. So far I'm thankful in the way things are playing out :) 

I'm very grateful at the positive responses I've been getting. I have had nothing but support from the beginning. My family is amazing and never had reservations about me embarking on my journey. This leads me to my topic of today SUPPORT!

Recently there have been many questions (both in my surro group and in Facebook groups) re gaining the support of the ones closest to you. This is very important and should be considered in 2 parts.
1. Whether friends and family think this is something right for YOU,
2. Whether they are for or against surrogacy all together.
Really in the scheme of things the later doesn't matter. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and when getting feedback from those that matter it's important to not look at their opinion on surrogacy but instead their opinion on whether or not they think you would be good for the job.

Not all women are made for this. Many do it for the wrong reasons, aren't as healthy as they think they are &/or can't emotionally go through with it.
If someone close to you says they do not think this is right for you ask why (and not in a defensive manner). Others perspectives are valid (especially if it's a husband). Sometimes we think we can do more than we can or we think we are stronger than we are. Yes it would be hard to swallow. Of course state your case why you want to do it and why you think you would be a good candidate. People might also hold back the reasoning and not want to hurt you.

Example A; For instance my grandpa said he wasn't sure if it's a good idea, he was a little standoffish on the subject. I really look up to him and wanted to know why so we sat down and his only concern was my career. He has seen me make significant advances in my career over the past few years and was afraid that this would hinder my growth in the corporate world. This is my means to an end and what will continue to put food in my daughters mouths. I was very thankful that he had such concerns about me and my future and didn't take it lightly. I went on to look into how this would affect me and was very pleased with what I found. I let him know that I still intend to work full time and I am able to work from home if necessary and that I could not be replaced while on maternity leave, which i don't intend to take much of. In the end he gave his nod of approval and said I was a strong woman and that he has no doubt in all other aspects that this is a good choice for me.


Example B: I had an acquaintance come to me and right off the bat ask how much you get. First off that's rude, second off it's none of your business. If you were truly curious you'd do the research. The person later mentioned that they wanted to do it and she had mentioned it to her boyfriend and he was against the idea, she wanted me to talk to him. I was not ok with this. Obviously I am PRO surrogacy but to I think everyone should do this no. Money should not be your first motivator (which in many cases it sadly is). If your monetarily driven you might not have the best interest of the child in your mind 24-7, which is important. She has a daughter who at times she puts after her materialistic needs, a $300 purse but struggling for rent. I"m sorry but it makes me question whether you'd go that extra step to buy the prenatals over getting your nails done. Or healthy more expensive produce over going to BJ's for dinner. Yes this might seem minimal or petty to some but I don't think so. In such cases friends and family might not show support because even though they love you they don't think you're a right fit. They might not out right say why they think that in hopes not to hurt your feelings or make you angry.

ALL in all if your family/closest of friends don't think it's a good idea I think that is a main area of concern that should not be taken lightly. It's always good to have shoulders to lean on Good Luck!